I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
