Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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