She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
