why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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