So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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