She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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