i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
We need to rekindle our bromance
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
