My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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