I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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