This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
