I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
