textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Randomize
