Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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