Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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