please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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