so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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