Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
