You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
