so explain again why im purple
no
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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