I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
