Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
