My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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