Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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