dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
40s are totally the cure
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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