I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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