hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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