Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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