we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm like, not good at living.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
