Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
