i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
She even gives head with a lisp.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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