Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
