All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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