i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
