If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
