I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Is it because I queefed?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
