his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
