Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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