Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
