She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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