I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
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... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
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I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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