Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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