youre lurking in front of me
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
