i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
