East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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