sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
