it was like his penis was on wheels.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize
