sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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