...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We have so much sex to catch up on
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
