I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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