Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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