I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
