ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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