After last night, I could never be a politician.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
