Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
