Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
