Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
