Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Sex with a fat chick.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
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i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
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I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.