Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
