There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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