i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
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I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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